How are you doing up there, my little guy? I bet you and Grandma Kelly are bringing so much joy to each other in Heaven.
The other night, I had a dream with you in it! I hadn’t had any dreams about you just yet, and I was beginning to wonder if I would. I know some moms whose babies are in Heaven have lots of dreams about their babies, and some don’t at all. I was starting to think I would be in the camp of not dreaming about you at all. Since I never knew you outside of me when you were alive, I thought maybe my brain just wasn’t thinking about you that way in my sleep.
But then, you were there. I don’t remember much about the dream – I’m not even sure there was much to it, besides the fact that you were there. I was sitting cross-legged on the floor…somewhere not at home. Maybe we were at a library or something? I’m not sure. At any rate, I was sitting cross-legged and I was holding you in my arms, with you sitting on my leg.
You were several months older than you would be now in my dream – I think maybe about 9 months? You had sandy hair that was starting to grow into longer wisps, and you just fit so perfectly into my arms and my lap.
Nothing else happened in my dream that I can remember…it was just you and me, sitting quietly. I was loving you, holding you, burying my nose in your fresh baby hair. You were watching something quietly, just sitting there with your mom and being quiet and serene.
It was an amazing moment, and I wish the dream would have been longer, but just having that moment was wonderful. I was both happy and sad when I woke up, because I got to hold you in my dream, but then I couldn’t hold you when I woke up.
I hope I have more dreams with you in them, so that I can keep feeling those lovely moments of having you with me, even if it’s in my dreams.