My husband and I both went to college at UMD in Duluth, MN. It’s where we met, fell in love by Lake Superior, and hated to leave when we left for jobs in Minneapolis.
In fact, my anxiety symptoms started after we moved. Somehow, I made it through college without falling into anxiety holes, but as soon as I moved, that was it. The world just moves faster in the city. It doesn’t help that I ended my job in Duluth on a Friday, moved on Saturday, and started my new job in a new city at a new position I had never held before. Oh, and then two weeks later Colin proposed, and I began planning my wedding.
It was like a switch flipped. I went from being a busy college student with mostly A’s to a career-minded woman, learning a new trade and planning her wedding and living in a brand new place. I remember going to the doctor just a month or so after I started my new job, complaining of a tightness in my chest and inability to breathe in completely. He sent my on my merry way with an inhaler that wouldn’t work, because my problem wasn’t caused by a physical ailment. Instead, it was anxiety.
I tried to work on it for a long time, until I finally couldn’t take it any longer and went to a doctor for help. I’ve been on Lexapro now for a couple years, and it has successfully helped me control my anxiety.
What else helps control my anxiety? Lake Superior! I’m so, so lucky that Colin’s family has a cabin (now more of a four-season home) on the shore of Lake Superior north of Duluth. Every time I’m there, I can feel my anxiety ebbing along with the waves on the lake.
We spent Memorial Day weekend at the cabin, with friends for two nights and on our own for a third. There’s just nothing like it.
Now, when we go, Jonah is there with us. He’s there in our hearts, he’s there in Jonah Bear, and we even saw a rainbow over the lake! I’ve always had a hard time believing in signs, but what made me look up from my book at that moment, when my nose was so deep in the pages?
I had such a wonderful weekend – it’s so hard to go back to “normal” after that. I seem to have a harder time now, coming home from any sort of getaway. It’s like I get home, and everything about Jonah not being there just hits me. The cabin is healing, though, so I’ll definitely keep going! We even strap Jonah Bear into the back seat with the seat belt 🙂 He sure is a cutie back there.