I realized this morning that it feels strange to call you “my son” out loud. I carried, grew and birthed you, my boy, yet now I do not have a son to hold and comfort. These feelings are so hard to understand. I hope that soon I will no longer find it strange, because although you aren’t here physically, you’re still my son and I’m your mom.
Yesterday, I felt brave enough to go to Target. I thought that going in the middle of the afternoon on a weekday wouldn’t be overwhelming, since it’s much less busy. I was wrong. That’s when moms with babies go to Target. I was ok until I heard a newborn baby start to cry.
My Jonah, I never got to hear your voice or see your eyes open. What would you have sounded like? I so wish that we could have heard you.
I dream about you every night and think about you every day, all day. My body and soul miss you completely.